i'm reading through a book called instruments in the redeemer's hands by paul tripp. this is my second book by him (the other one was dangerous calling). one thing that characterizes his writings is anecdotes about personal failures. he's constantly recalling how he failed as a father, how easily angry he gets, how prideful he is, and how his heart constantly longs for attention. of course he does all of this so to point us to christ. but i can't help but to get the impression that he's just a terrible person, unfit for ministry. with all these stories, i just don't know how godly he is. it doesn't help that i had briefly met him when he was here in hong kong, and my five minute conversation had confirmed my dislike of him.
then again, i wonder how much of my dislike is caused by me being exactly the same. but i don't like him, because i try very hard to do the opposite of what he does - to hide my anger, to subdue my longing for attention and to downplay my pride. he reveals them even as i try so hard to conceal them. maybe he's just honest. i'm just too dishonest.
oh lord, have mercy.
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